Release Party for Broken by Raine Norman

February 19, 2014

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Hi, Raine Norman here again. My novella, Broken, is about relationship problems brought about by a physical injury to one of couple.  This leads to Oliver’s self-esteem taking a plunge in the face of his ‘surfer-dude’ partner, Joel’s, physical fitness and outgoing personality.

These traits in Joel are what attracted Oliver to him in the first instance, but now he misreads all the signs and Joel, too, fails to realize how his normal behavior is now causing Oliver to have doubts about his commitment to their relationship until its almost too late.

I think the old adage ‘you need to love yourself before someone else can love you’  has a little truth in it. Negativity can cause many problems. Have any of you had a loss of confidence in yourself lead to relationship troubles? I’d love to hear your stories in comments.

I was employed riding racehorses out at exercise when I was in myearly twenties. Falling off is an occupational hazard in that line of work – put simply, if you ride enough horses you will end up on the ground at some point! Obviously a bad fall can shake your confidence, but weirdly for me, the horse that led me to losing my nerve (losing my bottle in horse-racing jargon) only gave me a couple of easy falls where I landed on my feet beside him.

The trouble was the damn thing had got it down to an art form and with a wriggle and a toss of his head could give you an unscheduled dismount at any time and in any pace! (I only ever fell off in walk thankfully). But riding him everyday made me more and more nervous and eventually I changed occupations! My partner, however, still worked within the industry and I hated that he still had all the confidence in the world when sat on a flighty racehorse or on our own horses.

This brought friction to our relationship and, strangely, when I regained my confidence on our own horses, my partner couldn’t handle the fact that I was competing in the show ring again and not him! The hobby we both shared and loved became my hobby alone, and over time this meant we spent less free time together and I am sure played a part in our separation.

It seems silly when I write it down, but when something that brings a couple together, be it a job, or hobby, like skiing in Oliver and Joel’s case , or horse riding in mine, is no longer possible or fun to share then it does put strain on a relationship.

What do you think?

Check out Broken at the Dreamspinner Press website and when I come back I will have a copy to giveaway to one lucky reader! Excerpts and more chat to follow!  :)

Broken at Dreamspinner Press

Raine Norman facebook page

Raine Norman blogspot

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8 Responses to “Release Party for Broken by Raine Norman”

  1. Andrea M says:

    I’ve never really thought about shared interests that aren’t shared anymore and how it would affect relationships but it makes sense. My husband and I aren’t sports people but one thing we share a passion for is politics. If, God forbid, the man should decide to become a Republican, that would eventually lead to the end of our relationship.

  2. raine_norman says:

    LOL! Andrea M, I am sure that would be a disaster! :)

  3. Karen says:

    I so agree that we need to love and respect ourselves in a relationship. And I’ve found your assessment to be true as well: how a lack of confidence can make us misread signs, and our partner’s normal behaviors can lead us to have doubts. Psychologically speaking, we are often our own worst enemy, in love and outside of it! (I also agree with Andrea’s comment!)

  4. raine_norman says:

    Karen, it is very difficult isn’t it, not to let our insecurities colour everything around us. When I am feeling strong and confident things that would reduce me to tears somehow bounce off, but when I am feeling insecure so much more feels like a personal attack!

  5. Shorty Chelle says:

    I know all about having insecirities in a realationship and misunderstanding things. I’m Physicaly disabled and admit I’m very insecure about myself. That’s one reason why I don’t date anymore. Got tired of trying to figure out how the other person felt and if they were sincere in what they told me. Most times they weren’t. I am a very strong willed person normaly except for relationships.
    marsh10@netzero.com

  6. raine_norman says:

    Shorty Chelle, relationships do have the ability to knock us, don’t they? I think a lot of people who, like you, are strong willed, are vulnerable relationship-wise. It is a sad fact, isn’t it, that the very people who should make us feel the best, have the ability to make us feel the worst. xx

  7. Shorty Chelle says:

    raine_norman, you are very right in saying the people who hurt us the worst are the ones who you’d think would want the best for us. I’ve been called everything you can think of and picked on my whole life but what hurt the most was those things coming from someone who claimed to love me. So now that I’m older, I refuse to subject myself to that anymore. xx

  8. raine_norman says:

    Shorty Chelle, that is just horrible. :( I hope you’ve found some great friends along the way too though. xxx

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