Touch Me Gently Virtual Book Signing Cont…

September 3, 2010

Why I wrote about Kaden and told his story:

Kaden James came to life from a place deep inside of me. His past and the emotional and physical damage that he sustained in his short life is quite significantly deeper than my own, but he is no less a piece of myself. His scars are visible to the world while the ones that I carry every day are hidden so deeply inside that very few know of their existence. When they say writers write what they know, it isn’t a lie. No matter how hard you may try not to, a part of yourself is embedded in the characters that you write. It’s inevitable. Whether it’s a simple gesture or a character’s entire attitude, you are there.

Kaden’s reactions to emotionally-charged situations is not quite unlike the way I react. My heart starts fiercely pounding in my chest, my hands shake, and the possibility of someone yelling at me scares the hell out of me. The panic that races through Kaden is like acid, burning him from the inside out. It eats at you until you can’t breathe.  Uncontrollable and raging like a forest fire until it burns itself out or you find another outlet. Sorry if my description seems a bit on the dramatic side, but there are no other words to describe the feeling. It’s like someone dumped a bucket of ice water over you at the same time as lava burning you up internally.

The outlet that Kaden has is extremely unhealthy and dangerous. The more someone cuts, the deeper the cut has to go to stem the pain. And it’s addictive. It’s like a drug that you have to fight like hell to get out of its grasp. It’s seductive and greedy. Something that no one should ever try to use to get away from their problems, their pain, or their fear. Kaden’s sense of euphoria during one of the scenes is not far from the truth of how it feels. The physical pain overcomes the deep-seated emotional pain. It hurts less than the emotional pain. Though that does sound like a contradiction. How could the physical pain overcome the emotional when the physical hurts less?  Unless you’ve been there, it’s not easy to understand.

My hope is that someone may read about Kaden and the problems he has to overcome and perhaps realize that being strong isn’t about just coping or resorting to other means to escape. It’s about pushing through the pain, the fear, and overcoming it to be the person you were meant to be. Kaden understands that towards the end of the story when he goes through a chain of events and situations which put his newfound courage and self-worth to the test.

2 Responses to “Touch Me Gently Virtual Book Signing Cont…”

  1. Sui Lynn says:

    Hi JR,

    Just popping in to say Hi. I’m not sure how these book signings work but wanted to let you know I popped in. Just got back from IA. Glad to be home. Talk to you soon.

    Sui Lynn~

  2. Hi there! I’m glad you’re home. Basically, this session is for everyone to get to know me. To learn who I am and why I write. :D And if they’re interested, they put in the request for the signed book.

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