Sugar Makes You Fat and Horny by Pearl Love

January 9, 2015

Title: Sugar Makes You Fat and Horny

Author: Pearl Love

Pairing: Victor and Steve from That Which Doesn’t Kill You

Prompt: sugar

“Stupid traffic…. Stupid post office….”

Steve grumbled under his breath as he tried to fit the key into the lock of his apartment door without dropping the box he held.  The post office, which had been packed with people shipping and receiving last minute Christmas gifts, was located inconveniently close to a large mall.  It had taken him nearly an hour and a half to make the six-mile round trip.

“I hate New Jersey.”

The gripe was as pointless as the rest of his complaining. The city was still rebuilding after the alien attack that had decimated Manhattan over a year ago. His old apartment had been ground zero, so he’d been forced to retreat over the river to find suitable accommodations. Fortunately he had company in his hopefully temporary exile. Unfortunately, that very company was only aggravating his current irritation.

The key finally decided to cooperate, and Steve managed to shoulder open the door without incident. He stopped immediately inside and glared at the gorgeous vision of his roommate lifting the couch with one hand so he could vacuum beneath it. And since it was Victor, who ran hot on the coldest of winter days, he was performing his self-appointed task shirtless.  Typical.

Victor’s firm muscles, which sheltered unimaginable strength, flexed beneath smooth, sun-kissed skin.  His ink-black hair was plastered to his forehead from the shower he liked to take first thing in the morning. A pair of sweatpants hung precariously from his slim hips, threatening to slide down with every movement of his arm as he pushed the noisy machine back and forth over the carpet.

Steve gritted his teeth at the blatant display of virile masculinity. “Your mother sent me biscochitos!” he yelled over the roar of the vacuum.

Victor raised a perfectly arched eyebrow and gave him the side-eye. “You don’t have to shout. I can hear you, you know,” he replied as he turned off the machine.

Steve glared at him, unappreciative of the reminder of Victor’s super powers. The jerk could probably hear the rush of blood as his face flushed with annoyance. Victor gently lowered the couch back to the floor as though it were no heavier than a sheet of paper. Ever since they’d cracked the mystery of his powers—sex after Victor ate spinach took his abilities to the next level for some crazy reason—his body had responded accordingly, leaving him even more delectable than he’d been already. Steve found himself drooling as Victor reached his arms above his head in a full body stretch.

“I said, Rosita sent me biscochitos,” he repeated just to be contrary.

Victor sent him a crooked smile. “She said she would. Your birthday is tomorrow, and you know how she loves to cook for you.”

Steve gritted his teeth. Yeah, and if he had never met Victor, then he’d never have met Victor’s sweet mother and her delicious food. “Having a birthday on Christmas Eve is just as bad as having it on Christmas Day,” he mumbled.

Victor grinned and walked over to him. “Which is why I wanted to throw this party for you. You should get your special day all to yourself. You know Mamacita and Papa wanted to be here, but Papa’s back is acting up, so they couldn’t travel this week.”

Steve instantly felt like a tool. He loved Victor’s parents as much as if they were his own flesh-and-blood. When they realized they couldn’t make it for Christmas, they’d insisted Victor and Steve come visit them in San Antonio for New Year’s. Steve was looking forward to the trip, but the threat of being at the mercy of Rosita and her kitchen was too much to bear with Victor standing in front of him looking like some sort of Mexican-American Greek god.

“…going to make me fat…”

Victor looked down at Steve in mild confusion. “What’s going to make you fat?”

“Arrg!” Steve growled as ripped the tape off the box in his hands. “This!” He pulled the lid off the tin nestled in a protective layer of torn up newspaper and the delicious aroma of cinnamon and sugar wafted up to smack him in the face. “Your mother is trying to kill me!”

Victor’s nose twitched and his fingers curled as though he were fighting not to reach in and snatch one of the cookies for himself. “That’s not true,” he replied mildly.

He and Steve had been a couple ever since the aliens had attempted to destroy their greatest enemy—Victor’s superhero alter ego, El Magnifico—only to get their asses handed to them for their trouble. Previously, Steve had been forced to keep his lust for his journalist partner to himself due to the fact that even the slightest hint of nookie made Victor lose his power. But their forced abstinence had come to a glorious end after the fortuitous discovery that the combination of spinach and smut rendered Victor damn near invincible.

“Yes it is.” Steve hated that he was whining, but he was convinced Victor’s mom had it out for him. “She knows I’m turning 36, and she has to know that after that age the human body’s metabolism turns to shit. Yet she still sent me cookies for my birthday? She’s trying to turn me into a tub of lard.”

Victor gave up his inner battle and snatched up a cookie faster than Steve’s eyes could follow. He was munching happily away, crumbs clinging tempting to his full lips, before he shook his head in amusement. “It’s just her way of showing love. Believe me,” he added with a chuckle, “if I were human, I’d weigh four hundred pounds with the way she used to feed me as a kid—” He blinked when Steve shoved the tin hard against his chest.

“Then here, you eat them!”

Steve let go of the tin before Victor reached up to grab it, trusting that Victor’s lightning fast reflexes would keep the biscochitos from ending up all over the pristine carpet. Unfortunately, Victor was also fast enough to take hold of his arm before he could stalk away.

“Steve….” Victor spoke in that low soothing tone that never failed to make Steve’s inside melt into squishy goo. He pulled his resistant partner toward him until he could wrap Steve in his arms. “What’s really going on with you?”

Steve held out for all of two seconds before breaking down with an embarrassing sniff. “I’m getting old, and you’re not.” He buried his nose in the warm hollow of Victor’s chest.

“What?” Victor’s voice rumbled in Steve’s ear.

“I mean, do you even age? I’m going to grow old and fat, and you’ll probably always be as young and gorgeous as you are now, and you’re going to get disgusted and leave me—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Victor leaned back so he could look down at Steve’s face. It was undoubtedly puffy like it always got when he was trying not to cry. “Where is this coming from? When have I ever given you the impression that I would do something like that?” He took Steve’s chin in his fingers and lifted it until their gazes met. “I love you, Steve. I’ve loved you since the day we met and you called me a clueless rookie. And I’ll love you until the day you die.” He smiled softly. “Even when you’re old and fat.”

Steve laughed despite himself. He sniffed and shoved at Victor with unconvincing force. “Get away from me with your perfect abs and 3 percent body fat.”

Victor chuckled. “You know, there is one surefire way to burn some calories.” He bent down and pressed his lips against Steve’s neck. Steve shivered as he felt Victor’s tongue against his skin. “I have a spinach smoothie in the fridge.”

“Yeah, okay,” Steve mumbled, admitting defeat as his body expressed its enthusiastic approval of the suggestion.

Victor handed Steve the tin and stepped away, his lips curved in an adorable expression of eager happiness. Steve reached for a cookie as he watched Victor walk toward the kitchen. Knowing how this usually went, he’d be lucky if he were conscious by the time their guests arrived that evening, let alone able to walk straight. He would need his strength, he thought, stuffing the delicious treat into his face. He sent Victor’s mother a silent, heartfelt word of thanks before banishing her prudently into the part of his brain that wasn’t currently entertaining dirty fantasies of her baby boy.

 

Did you enjoy Pearl Love’s story? If so, check out the rest of her books and take 25% off at checkout with the code PearlLoveFlash. Coupon code is good for one order per customer through February 9, 2015.

2 Responses to “Sugar Makes You Fat and Horny by Pearl Love”

  1. Shirley Ann Speakman says:

    Thank you for the great story I enjoyed poor Steve and his worrying, it was so lovely how Victor reassured him they are so cute together.

  2. pearllove says:

    Thanks, Shirley! I’m so glad you enjoyed the silliness. :)

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