Wrapped Up in Chains – The BDSM part

March 14, 2014

The setting for this book is kind of unique I think. The background is a BDSM club and main characters who live the BDSM lifestyle, but the story isn’t too hardcore about it because one of the characters isn’t ready for it until the very end of the book. Chase is a man who was basically taken as a boy and abused for a very long time before being rescued and he needed most of the book to heal enough to make his own choices about what he wanted without being influenced by outside opinions.

On top of that, Devon, the Dom in this story, he had to have time to come to the realization that Chase was capable of deciding for himself that he really did want what he was asking for.

And of course, there was the bad guy they both had to deal with who was pretty much everything that the BDSM community isn’t!

And speaking of that…….

I researched as much as I could through books and the internet but what I know about BDSM and the people who live it is very little and certainly not enough to even pretend to be any kind of an expert. I’m smart enough to know that with some things, there is only so much you can learn from books and that some things need to be experienced to truly be understood.

But what I do know is that this is something amazing and wonderful for the people who are immersed into the community and it was something I wanted to learn about and understand better. As I said in the acknowledgments, I have absolutely the utmost respect and admiration for everyone who lives this lifestyle and hope they will take this story as it was intended, as a work of fiction written by someone who was curious and motivated to investigate but has very little knowledge, lol.

I can totally understand the appeal of both sides of the sub/Dom equation. Giving yourself over to someone else’s care, being their sub and letting them make all the decisions? That would be very freeing. The only things you would think about or be required to do would be what your Dom asked of you and their approval or disapproval would be the only thing that mattered.

And of course, being the one in charge has it’s benefits as well. It’s a big responsibility being a Dom. You have someone in your care who is totally dependent on you for whatever length of time you agree on but you also know that in that time, you are their whole world. It’s heady stuff.

Safe – sane –  and consensual were words I found a lot in my research. Everyone involved had to be aware of what was going on and agree to it. For some there are contracts that are written up in advance and safeguards for everyone involved.

I think what anyone who’s interested should do is research like I did. Read a lot, and if you can, talk to someone who’s involved in the community. There’s more than one opinion out there so make sure you get a bunch and keeping an open mind is the most important part. What appeals to others might not appeal to you and that’s okay. While I find a lot of aspects of BDSM fascinating, I’m not big on humiliation, probably because I only associate it with something really bad happening to me that I don’t want, but there are a lot of people for whom that is an essential part of their experience. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. I found most of the people I talked to were more than willing to help me and were in fact eager to clear up misconceptions about their community.

So, in the end, what I do know would fill a thimble and what I don’t know would fill an ocean and I hope that if you are a part of the BDSM community that you can forgive me for any mistakes I’ve made while enjoying the story I’ve crafted.

You can get Wrapped Up in Chains here as an ebook and here as a paperback, the first 20 copies of which are autographed by me!!

4 Responses to “Wrapped Up in Chains – The BDSM part”

  1. Andrea M says:

    It’s good that you did your research – did you find out anything that surprised you? If so, please tell us.

  2. cindyls1969 says:

    Andrea I can’t say anything really surprised me except maybe that before I started paying attention, I didn’t realize how varied people’s situations were. I had no idea that so many people lived the sub/Dom lifestyle 24/7. It seems like a very intensive and sometimes stressful situation,especially for the Dom. I will also admit to being surprised at how little physical indications like sex and size mattered in the way the relationships are put together. Watching a small, fierce woman who couldn’t have weighed 110lbs put a 6’4″ man on his knees and happily follow her around on a leash did make me look twice, but after watching them for a while, I saw how much of a connection they had and it made me smile. Conversely, I saw big beefy Doms treat their much smaller male subs like they were the most precious things they’d ever owned (yes, I said owned). That had a tendency to make me coo like a girl. I mostly avoided the areas that I knew would bother me because I wanted it to be a positive experience not a negative one.

  3. H.B. says:

    Very interesting post. It’s wonderful that you encourage others to research. There’s quite a bit misconception and notions flying around about the bdsm lifestyle.

  4. cindyls1969 says:

    I agree H.B. and it creates a lot of fear and prejudice that’s unnecessary!

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